In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret. You may also want to read the last five posts in which I shared my thoughts to some of the critiques posed by the authors of The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “What you think about you bring about.” This is a statement by Lisa Nichols in The Secret.
The Secret refers to the Law of Attraction which is a concept that is defined in the book (and the film of the same name), as “like attracts like.” (p.7) In this regard, The Secret emphasizes that positive thoughts will attract the positive into one’s life; while negative thoughts will attract the negative into one’s life. Therefore, proponents of The Secret advocate for keeping one’s thoughts positive. We will soon start the fall harvest season and with that in mind, I now include the following passage from the book (p.17):
Like all the laws of nature, there is utter perfection in this law. You create your life. Whatever you sow, you reap! Your thoughts are seeds, and the harvest you reap will depend on the seeds you plant.
There may be some difficulty in seeing how the Law of Attraction has relevance in your life. But, more problematic is the blaming and fault-finding that may occur when even as you try to think positively, negative events happen nonetheless. Consider the following passage from the book (p.12):
As you think of yourself living in abundance, you are powerfully and consciously determining your life through the law of attraction. It’s that easy. But then the most obvious question becomes, “Why isn’t everybody living the life of their dreams?
In general, the explanation is that the reason people don’t have what they want is because they are thinking about what they don’t want instead of what they do want. In other words, what a person wants to avoid will become manifest because those are the thoughts upon which the person is focused. But, I think there is a deeper reason for these circumstances and that reason is our inability to be aware of what we are thinking unconsciously. Our unconscious thoughts holds as much, if not more, power than what we are thinking consciously. It is the conflict between the conscious thought “I want to be successful” with the unconscious thought “I don’t deserve to be happy.” Which thought would you guess has more influence in a person’s life? And what thoughts are you holding in your own unconscious that may be holding you back?
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.
The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction
In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction. Please read the previous posts as this entry is the fifth, and the last, in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Please note that I made mention in the first post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret will be the focus of next month’s entry. This entry is focused on “positive thinking.” Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “reframe.”
The authors pose the following critique, “As the psychological phenomenon of “autosuggestion” tends to suggest, making up your mind to be “positive” is sure to make you feel…well, positive. But beyond that, the effectiveness of the pragmatic fallacy amounts to little more than what politicians call “putting a positive spin on things.” (pp32-33).
I am at a loss to see how being “positive” is a bad thing. If the authors are referring to a “Polly-ana” like mental state where there is a denial of the painful realities of life, then I am in agreement with them that this type of thinking can be detrimental. Denial prevents the natural process of working through negative emotions. Psychological theories suggests that when negative emotions are not processed in a timely and appropriate manner there are untoward consequences later such as comprised health or explosive rage. There is also the danger of continuing negative experiences. For example, saying “Oh, it’s OK” when someone oversteps your boundaries can be a form of denial and may foster continued victimization.
Being positive in the face of adversity is to take the reality one is presented, but to look at it with a different perspective. In psychology, it is called a “reframe.” This concept may be better explained with the following example; a “framed” piece of artwork allows you to see the subject of a painting via a perspective as allowed by the artist. What difference would the impact of the artwork make to you if you could zoom in or zoom out, see it from the back, or even upside-down. These differences are what would comprise a change in perspective.
A change in perspective associated with the negative events in one’s life allows the unfolding of meaning that at the time is hidden. It is an assumption that “things will work out,” or “things happen for a reason” that gives a nod to the notion that we just don’t know everything, or have access to all facts, at any given time. This notion is not the same as denying the reality that is presented. Instead, there is an acknowledgment of what is presented, along with an acknowledgment that there are additional factors of which we may not be aware. A change in perspective is what can help in bad times and is an important component to good mental health and the ability to have a better life.
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.
The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction
In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Please read the previous posts as this entry is the fourth in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Please note that I made mention in the first post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret will be the focus of a future entry. This entry is focused on what are we to make of it when what we hope for does not materialize? Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on having a setback in one’s life.
The authors find the following premise about The Secret to be problematic: “the emphasis is on “think it,” and if you think it, it will effortlessly be yours” (p.73). As such, I would agree as there is more to success than just “thinking it.” However, the authors later write that The Secret does make mention of the necessity of taking action. So, it appears that according to both the authors and the premise of The Secret, acting on a thought (wish) is necessary. But, as important are intention, concentration, determination, focus, skill-building, information gathering, seeking help from others, timing, opportunity, hope and faith. Any, and maybe all, may be necessary for you to succeed. But, the road to success would not have been taken at all had you not had a thought about what you wanted.
So, what are we to make of it when we fail to materialize something we have thought about despite taking action and having intention, focus, hope, and faith? It could be that something was not in line. Could there have been fear that it might actually come true? Were the steps taken adequate and appropriate? Was there a doubt that lingered in one’s mind? According to the authors, “Simply stated, ask, believe, and receive is an enthralling biblical formula that has real application, but only when you are with the plan: that is, God’s plan” (p.81). For, others, it is the belief that if things do not materialize “it wasn’t meant to be.” This is an issue intricate to success that only you can determine.
The authors quote Professor John Norcross’ statement in regard to The Secret: “It’s pseudoscientific, psycho-spiritual babble. We find about 10 percent of self-help books are rated by mental-health professionals as damaging. [The Secret] is probably one of them. The problem is the propensity for self-blame when it doesn’t work” (p. 132). The authors add, “According to Byrne, if it doesn’t work for you, the problem is you” (p.132). I agree that the danger with the premise of The Secret is that people will harshly blame themselves. What would counter that tendency is to focus on what could be learned so as to try again or to develop another goal.
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.
The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction
In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Please read the previous posts as this entry is the third in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Please note that I made mention in the first post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret will be the focus of a future entry. This entry is focused on “Materialism” (please see comments to posts dated April 27, 2008 and January 28, 2008.) Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “Consumerism.”
I’d like to first clarify my definition of the word “materialism” as used in this entry. Materialism is the wanting, or having, of things that may not be essential to one’s health and well-being. For example, it is the difference between living in a mansion versus having shelter or driving a luxury vehicle versus having a mode of transportation. There is a negative connotation held by many people about someone who is “materialistic.” The thinking is that there is a “cost” to materialism. In other words, materialism is “bad” because it is “selfish” in that you want or have something more than is minimally sufficient.
The most common negative feedback I receive regarding The Secret is the emphasis on materialism. But, are we not a culture that wants “bigger and better.” The authors cite an article written by Jeffrey Ressner in TIME Magazine Dec. 28, 2006 in which he said “The film’s backers say they deliberately aimed to make ‘wealth enhancement’ a major element of the project” and included the comment by Bob Rainone (Rhonda Byrne’s U.S. business partner) as follows:
We desired to hit the masses, and money is the number one thing on the masses’ minds. Bob Rainone
The authors are critical of a passage in The Secret wherein a child fantasizes about having an expensive bicycle insinuating that the child is selfish or greedy. What is the problem in this scenario? Is the bike too much money? Does the child already have a bike? Would getting the bike be a financial burden for the family? In many families, there is no hesitation in getting a child something despite the expense and the financial burden it may cause the family.
Would the authors feel differently if this was a child from a single-parent home living in an impoverished neighborhood? A place where this child wished for something better in his life? A place where most children would discount the thought of having an expensive bike as it would be deemed “impossible.” What if obtaining the expensive bicycle gives to the child a glimpse into what is “possible?” How would this experience affect this child’s ability to obtain success later in life? I appreciate that the question of how the bicycle was obtained is a factor. There would certainly not be a positive message if the child stole the bicycle or stole the money to buy the bicycle. But, what if he worked after school for the money? What if he had a mentor who helped him get the job? My point here is that there is a context in which one deems what is or is not “materialistic.” I think the bigger question is, “Who is the person judging?”
Abraham Maslow (1943) described a hierarchy of human needs. When the lower human needs for safety, food, and shelter can be sustained to some degree, the higher aspects of human nature such as creativity and achievement are more likely to occur. Of course, we know of many times of disaster where people “rise to the occasion.” They share resources and may even give up their lives for the lives of others. But, it is also true that it can be difficult to be altruistic.
It isn’t easy to give away your food when hungry. But, it's impossible to give away food when you haven't any.
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.
The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law Of Attraction
In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Please read the previous post as this entry is the second in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Note that I made mention in the previous post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, and it will be the focus of a future entry. I would like to base this entry on the word “intention.” Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on tips to enhance the power of your “intention.”
Intention is a word that I think is hard to understand. I looked up the word in my Webster’s dictionary and found that it is classified as a noun and defined as “an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.” This definition appears to be close to that of the verb “intend” which is defined as “to have in mind as something to be done or brought about.” I don’t think intention is a “thing” or an “action.” Wikipedia describes “intentional behavior” as “thoughtful and deliberate goal-directedness.” This defines a behavior similar to setting goals.
So, how would I define the word “intention?” I offer to you that intention is a “state of consciousness.” I have to add I am certainly not an expert on linguistics, but I mean to use this definition as a way to understand the general concept of the word if not the strict definition. Maybe an example would elucidate what I mean.
Have you, or do you know of other people who have, fallen in love when meeting someone for the first time and making statements such as “When I saw her, I knew I would marry her” or “The moment I saw him, I knew he was the love of my life.” What do these statements mean? Well, I don’t think they are referring to “a thing” or “an action” or even "a thought." They are referring to a “knowing” or an experience of something that "just is.” I think this “knowing” is the same as “intention” in that neither concept refers to a thing, an action, or a thought. It is a state of consciousness.
In this book, the authors commented on a couple wanting to buy a house and their stance that there is an absurdity in “thinking” something into existence. They concluded that it took money, looking at many homes, and “taking wise and diligent actions.” They added, “In time, they will own a home that meets their needs: not because they “thought it into existence” but rather because after their thinking came actions in alignment with that desire.” I agree with the authors. There first is a wish/desire and thought about the object of that wish/desire. Then there are actions that are taken towards obtaining that object. But, buying a home can still be done without having “intention” as I defined it. Just as having faith that they will eventually be able to buy this home is an added bonus (if you will) it would be a bonus if there is also an “intention” to have the home of their dreams.
Maybe another example? You are hungry for a round-ish, red fruit labeled an apple. You are not thinking “round-ish, red fruit labeled an apple.” You are more likely to briefly experience the apple (taste? scent?) for which you currently have a wish/desire. It is this experience or state of consciousness that I would label intention. You may take the action needed to obtain it such as getting some money, going to the store, and buying the apple. You then have in your hand the thing that was the object of your wish/desire. And when you take a bite of that apple you have reached your goal.
Intention is not a thing, action, or thought. It is a state of consciousness. I will address intention again later with my entry on the book The Secret. Maybe by then I will have better examples or have feed back from you about what is your interpretation on intention that may change my own. Until then, I hope this entry clarifies my conception of the word.
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.
The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law Of Attraction
In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction.
I came upon this book, read it, and then contemplated what about it I wanted to write in this bookblog. I thought about the Easter holiday given the comments made by the authors. I then thought about the word “hope” because of the spring season and its association with new beginnings. Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “hope” and my thoughts on Senator Barack Obama. In keeping with the Easter tradition, I will begin my review of this book with a quote that is used at the book’s beginning:
Christ…was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake. −1 Peter 1:20
What is inspirational to many Christians about this quote is that it gives them hope for their own life. And the Easter holiday gives hope due to the redemptive value of Christ’s crucifixion.
Before I go further, I must make clear that I am not an expert on religion, philosophy, history, science, or literature and so cannot (and will not) address all of the issues brought up by the authors which may require such expertise. Instead, I will limit myself to sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors through the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Because of the many issues that I would like to address, this book will be the focus of the next several entries in this bookblog. Please also note that although I have seen the film The Secret, I have not yet read the book of the same name. It may seem unusual to make comments about a book which critiques The Secret without first reading The Secret, but this book is the first upon which I came. So, this book is the first of which I will write. Future entries will be on The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne in 2006, which continues to be a bestseller.
The original film and book The Secret makes reference to the “Law of Attraction.” This refers to your ability to get what you want based on your thoughts and actions. The authors contend this concept is flawed for a number of reasons. Therefore, they refer to the “Flaw of Attraction” instead. Primarily, there is no evidence that a “secret” for success was ever withheld from the masses and that Rhonda Byrne has misquoted and misused a number of her sources. These points may be true and I will not attempt to refute them. There are other issues which the authors bring up which I will address instead.
In this initial entry I will first look at an implied assumption by the authors that everyone’s belief system should be the same. The following is the next quote used in the book:
You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. −John 8:32
The authors acknowledge that there are paradigm differences. In other words, they understand that people see things differently in substantial ways. People will have different views on what is their purpose in life, or even if there is a purpose? People will have different views on whether or not there is evil in the world? These are examples of how people may differ in their world views.
The authors make reference to the philosopher Aristotle who posited “…that there was no knowable right and wrong, that every generation had to decide its own standards and morals, which gave birth to relativism…” The authors insinuate that the worldview of the proponents of The Law of Attraction align themselves with Aristotle. The authors appear to be more in alignment with Plato. “Plato…believed in absolute truth and abstract right and wrong.” Therefore, the primary problem with both the proponents of The Law of Attraction and the authors is that both believe they are right. Rhonda Byrne knows the “secret” and the authors know the “truth.”
This opposition can be seen in politics, relationships, and businesses. There is a “thesis” which is one view and an “antithesis” (anti-thesis) which is diametrically opposed to the thesis. The ability to come up with a melding of the two, or “synthesis” balances out the direct opposition of the first two. Could this be the answer to all of life’s problems? Is there a theory of everything? I don’t know. But, we clearly see the difficulties associated with an inability of people to see another person’s point of view whether within our own families, neighborhoods, or around the world.
One of the issues the authors have with The Law of Attraction is the simplification of getting what you want by “wishing” away your problems or “wishing” for things. I don't think the basis for the law of attraction is that wishing alone is enough at all times or in all situations. Take a moment and think about something in which you excel or something that you have received. Did you just wish it to be true and you immediately became proficient or in possession of what you wanted? I think that you will find that not only did you need the “wish,” but you may also have needed concentration, determination, focus, skill-building, information gathering, seeking help from others, money, timing, opportunity, hope, and faith. Any, and maybe all, may have been necessary for you to succeed. But, the road to success would not have been taken at all had you not “wished” for something to be different.
So, go ahead. Wish for a better life, good health, or loving relationships. It is the season of hope and new beginnings. What better time to wish for something, hope that it comes true, take the action needed to succeed, and then have faith that you will.
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.
Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities
In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities.
Adversity is the problem or challenge that comes up in one’s life. Going through a divorce, job loss due to company downsizing, or being diagnosed with a chronic medical illness are common adversities. People who are resilient are described as having the ability to “bounce back” from life’s adversities. (Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on resiliency and the 2008 Superbowl champions-the New York Giants.)
In this book, Dr. Paul Stoltz, provides The Adversity Response Profile (ARP) Quicktake™ This is a test you can take to determine what he describes is your Adversity Quotient (AQ). Obtaining your results and interpreting them may be complex, but the increase in self-understanding is well worth the effort. According to him, people fall into 3 main categories and they are: 1) the Quitter, 2) the Camper, and 3) the Climber.
The Quitter is described as someone who drops out of the ascent which is specifically “ascending toward success.” They have little faith or resources to even start the climb. The Camper started the climb towards success and can actually be quite successful. But, the Camper eventually reaches a plateau and then stays there. The camper is indeed a “happy camper” because wherever one is, it is good enough. Not so with the Climber. The plateau reached is merely a rest stop. Each success engenders more energy and propels the Climber forward. Complacency is not a part of the Climber’s makeup. And it is the Climber who can continue to persevere despite what adversity may be present. Dr. Stoltz describes the Climber who takes advantage of the opportunity for success present in adversity as engaging in “advertunity.”
The ARP Quicktake™ provides an AQ score which is composed of 4 components. These are 1) C=control 2) O²=origin and ownership 3) R=reach 4) E-endurance
The first component addresses a person’s ability to know what one can and cannot control and to do something about that which is under one’s control. The second component is about the ability to accept blame and take responsibility where appropriate. The third component refers to the ability to keep the negative effects of adversity to a minimum. And doing so is possible with the addition of the fourth component which is to view adversity as temporary and external. These four components optimize the opportunity for growth given adversity.
What to do if you find your AQ is on the low side? Take heart! According to Dr. Stoltz, “AQ is not your fate, it is a snapshot of your habitual response to adversity, a measure of the consistent subconscious pattern which you have developed over the years. AQ explains and measures your tendency to climb, camp, or quit, and teaches you the skills for the ascent.”
How can you increase your AQ? Developed by Dr. Stoltz is the LEAD technique described below. It is a technique which can be learned and, with practice, becomes easier to use.
L=Listen to the Adversity Response. This entails becoming aware of the adversity and your response to it as soon as possible.
E=Explore the origins of the adversity and the ownership of the outcome. This refers to the ability to accept blame and take responsibility as appropriate (see O²=origin and ownership)
A=Analyze the evidence. This is the ability to be more realistic and put things into perspective.
D=Do something! The final step in the LEAD technique is to take action.
Why bother raising your AQ? According to Dr. Stoltz, “…only climbers live life fully.” He goes on to say, “They feel a deep sense of purpose and passion for what they do. They know how to experience joy, recognizing it as a gift and reward for the Climb. Knowing that the peak may be elusive, Climbers never forget the power of the journey over the destination.”
Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.
