Dr. Rivera's Book Blog

2009-04-02T13:59:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for this late entry. But, the website is in a state of transition and, at this time, there will be no more posts to Dr. Rivera's Book Blog.

But, it has been my pleasure to share with you my thoughts and feelings about books that I have found to be meaningful. My hope has been that these books would be helpful to you on your road to success.

Thank you for the opportunity,
Dr. Rivera

Conscious Spending For Couples: Seven Skills For Financial Harmony

2009-02-28T20:17:00.000-08:00

Amazon.com Widgets

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled Conscious Spending for Couples: Seven Skills for Financial Harmony. This is a book written by Deborah Knuckey which is geared not only towards couples who are already in a financial quagmire, but also for people who are early in the process of combining their financial lives.

The author presents a number of ideas that can help couples become clear on what they have, what they want, and how to go from what they have to what they want. Described in the book are the “Three Rules for Financial Harmony,” “Seven Skills for Financial Harmony,” and “Four Lifestyle Decisions That Make or Break Your Finances.” There is also a section about the different “money styles” that combine in a relationship. Combinations include the Spender/Spender couple, the Saver/Saver couple, and the most common; Spender/Saver couple. A test is provided to help you determine the money style of both you and your partner.

Developed by the author is the “Conscious Spending Model” which is an interesting take on what is recognized by most people as the Food Pyramid. There are a total of seven categories with “Security” at the bottom as the foundation of the pyramid. The next level up includes “Shelter” and “Sustenance.” The next level up is “Self and Family.” Above that is “Social” and “Society” and at the tip of the pyramid is the category “Soul.”

Putting together a budget or what the author calls a “spending plan” can be daunting to some people because it can be complex, but there also may be little motivation to do a budget because there seems to be little significance about what the figures actually tell you. The categories used in the Conscious Spending Model provide more meaning to the numbers. There can be more awareness on how money is spent and whether or not it meets the financial goals that have been set. Intriguing is the category “Soul” which, at the tip of the pyramid, is described as “All the added extras in life that fall outside the other categories and are consumed to add to the quality of life.” This category includes money spent on hobbies and vacations. Many people would consider this category lower on the pyramid as it would be perceived as more of a necessity than a luxury.

“Security” is defined as “Savings, investments, and insurance that ensure that you can weather financial storms and be financially independent in your later years.” By placing “Security” as the foundation of the pyramid, this model places an emphasis on what may be the most important factor to financial “peace of mind.” In these times when people are living beyond their means and given the uncertainty of the job market and the stock market; this model can help people better understand and plan for their financial future.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success.

Life Strategies: Doing What Works Doing What Matters

2009-01-31T17:30:00.000-08:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled *Life Strategies: Doing What Works Doing What Matters. Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation reprise on “Goals.”

This book is written by Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D. who, as a TV personality, is better known as “Dr. Phil.” Dr. Phil is a Psychologist and in the book he provides a number of exercises geared towards increased self-knowledge. His first exercise, to list “…the top five things in your life that you have simply failed to fully and completely acknowledge to yourself” (p.19) may seem especially daunting. There is another exercise in the chapter entitled A Guided Tour of Your Life. This, too, is difficult (and time-consuming.) But, if completed, the reader would certainly gain clarity. As is true of all the other exercises presented, the exercises serve to bring awareness to people as they go about their daily lives and to confront what may not be working.

There are Ten Laws of Life presented in the book which Dr. Phil describe as “…the rules of the game” and is essential towards taking control of your life. (p.32) He goes on, “You can ignore them and stumble along, wondering why you never seem to succeed; or you can learn them, adapt to them, mold your choices and behavior to them, and live effectively.” (p.32) These Laws include Law #3: People do what works and Law #8: We teach people how to treat us.

Other sections include the ten factors present in successful people such as having a vision for what they want and having the ability to take risks. Lastly, but no less important, Dr. Phil describes his Seven-Step Strategy for realizing one’s goals.

Dr. Phil can be described as “no-nonsense.” He is direct and eschews the victim mindset. He rallies everyone to take control of their lives and helps them do so with the exercises and information presented in the book. As stated by Dr. Phil: (p.15)

Most people…cheat themselves by not asking themselves the
hard questions, not facing their true personality and behavior,
and therefore not addressing the nitty-gritty issues undermining
their efforts to succeed. My position is this: Let the rest of the
people live in a fog of self-deception. You take off the blinders
and deal with the truth, and you’ll leave them in the dust.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success.
*Note this review is based on the 1999 edition of the book.

The Cashflow Quadrant: Rich Dad's Guide To Financial Freedom

2008-12-23T00:21:00.000-08:00

Amazon.com Widgets

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled
Cashflow Quadrant: Rich Dad's Guide to Financial Freedom

Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “Suze’s Christmas message.”

In the book, the important concept of cashflow is discussed. There is also a graphic entitled the Cashflow Quadrant where individuals are categorized into four groups depending on their cashflow or how money comes in and how money goes out.

Cashflow is the flow of money on a periodic basis. Cashflow can be tracked by a family via a monthly household budget. The importance of having a budget is in bringing awareness to how money is handled. This is especially important for people who at the end of the month wonder where all their money has gone to. Having a budget will help to develop control over one’s finances. Observing how much money comes in and how much money goes out will show where changes may need to be made.

Of note is Robert’s discussion of the common assumption that having a home is an asset. He contends that a home is actually many times a liability because having that home takes money out of your pocket. Specifically, there is money paid out for the mortgage, repairs, and maintenance. However, if the house is rented and the rent is enough to pay all these expenses and bring some money into your pocket, then it would be considered an asset. According to Robert, “So a house could be an asset or a liability depending on the direction of the cash flow. If the cash flows into your pocket, it is an asset, and if it flows out of your pocket, it is a liability.” He goes on to explain with graphics that, in most situations, the house is actually an asset for the bank (mortgage holder). It then becomes apparent that having a mortgage may indeed be a liability.

Robert believes in helping people understand the basics about money. In this book, he explains the concept of cashflow as a way to help people improve their financial literacy. His hope is for everyone to eventually be financially free.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success.

*Note this review is based on the 1999 edition of the book.

The Laws Of Money, The Lessons Of Life: Keep What You Have And Create What You Deserve

2008-11-23T11:55:00.000-08:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled *The Laws of Money, The Lessons of Life: Keep What You Have and Create What You Deserve by Suze Orman. This is the second post of a financial book because of the current high level of fear associated with the extensive loss of jobs, homes, and savings. And another Suze Orman book is reviewed because of her popularity as a financial expert.

Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “I can’t give up everything I have!”

In the book, Suze describes five Laws of Money and pairs it with several life lessons. For example, Law Number 2: Look at What You Have, Not at What You Had pertains to the inability to move beyond the financial loses of the past. And, unfortunately, for many people the losses may have been quite recent and quite severe. Suze notes that several lessons must be learned from such an experience of loss such as “In hundreds of circumstances and dozens of ways, people hang on to the past to the detriment of their future,” and “If you live in yesterday, you will never be able to get to where you want to be tomorrow” (p.52). Understanding these lessons is helpful in being able to refocus and take action steps for a better financial future. It may be difficult to move beyond the past due to unresolved feelings such as guilt. “Tears are God’s way of forgiving you” (p.13) were the words of an old friend remembered by Suze when, as described in an earlier chapter, she began to cry uncontrollably after realizing her spending had became out of control. These words eventually helped Suze to forgive herself which in turn, allowed her to move on with her financial life.

Suze also presents a Guidebook which includes a number of exercises for all of the Laws of Money along with its associated life lessons. For Law Number 2, the exercise encourages an analysis of the past and then a way to reframe it. This is a powerful exercise that can be used in any situation.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

*Note this review is based on the 2003 edition of the book.

The 9 Steps To Financial Freedom: Practical & Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying

2008-10-31T18:12:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com Widgets

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical & Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying. This is a book written by financial guru Suze Orman. *Although printed many years ago, I think reviewing this book now is timely given the current financial environment and the fear associated with it among the general public.

Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “People first, then money, then things” which is a mantra of Suze Orman.

In the book, Suze writes extensively about financial matters such as retirement plans, insurance, and investment choices. As indicated in the title of the book, there are 9 steps. Some are more practical such as Step 3: Being Honest With Yourself where you are asked to look at your cashflow; what comes in and what goes out on a monthly basis. I am not a financial expert and do not intend to critique the financial issues which are discussed in the book. I want to add, however, it is important that you improve your financial literacy and strive to keep up to date with financial issues as they appear to be changing quickly.

Other steps include Step 6: Trusting Yourself More Than You Trust Others and Step 7: Being Open to Receive All That You Are Meant To Have. In these steps, Suze asks you to have a positive attitude towards money and to take charge of your money so you are less dependent on others to handle your money.

I think the most important steps to your financial foundation are the first 2 steps on her list; Step1: Seeing How Your Past Holds The Key To Your Financial Future and Step2: Facing Your Fears and Creating New Truths. There are some people who have a positive attitude towards money and there are some people who feel negatively towards money. The first step helps people understand why one feels one way or another by looking at what Suze calls “money messages.” Although taking action steps to deal with any fears one may have about money is necessary, having the insight to know why the fear is there in the first place will add another tool to fight the fear. Suze gives several accounts of her own life throughout the book. But, the most moving and eye-opening is that of an early childhood experience that involves her father which is in the opening chapter What Do Yo Want From Your Money? This story allows for a greater understanding of the meaning of money in her own life and was the basis for an epiphany when she later became a stock broker (pp. 3-4):

I was rich, richer than I could have imagined. And I realized I was profoundly unhappy; the money hadn’t bought or brought me happiness. So if money wasn’t the key to happiness, what was? It was then that I began a quest, which has taken me deep into the meaning of life-and the meaning of money.

Suze’s quest brought her to understand that we are inherently of value. As she states in Step 9: Recognizing True Wealth: (p.281)

True financial freedom lies in defining ourselves by who and what we are, not by what we do or do not have. You are the person you are right now. We cannot measure our self-worth by our net worth.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

*Note this review is based on the 1997 edition of the book.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People

2008-09-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled When Bad Things Happen To Good People. This is a book written by Rabbi Harold Kushner after the death of his son who suffered from progeria which is a condition in which aging is accelerated, but growth is stunted. It is a terminal condition and death occurs before reaching adulthood. Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “Belief in a Just World.”

In the book, Rabbi Kushner presents some of the reasons people give to the question “Why do bad things happen to good people?” Some people believe that the person afflicted with a disease, loss, or other tragedy deserved it because the person suffering is really “bad” and is being punished by God. Some people believe that there is a greater purpose; that it is “God’s plan” for which we cannot comprehend. Others may believe that there is a lesson to be learned. The lesson may be to slow down and appreciate life or to be a model of strength and courage for others. And others may believe that there is no reason; the universe is random and chaotic. To the question of “Why do bad things happen to good people?” I humbly respond, “I don’t know.” But, a more important question which was raised by the author and one with which I agree is “Now that this has happened to me, what am I going to do about it?”

Rabbi Kushner mentions a book entitled Elementary Forms of The Religious Life written in the early 1900’s by a French sociologist named Emile Durkheim. Based on his research into the religions of the native people of the South Pacific, Durkheim found that these religions were not focused on the relationship of human beings with God, but rather on the relationship of human beings with each other. The purpose of the rites of these religions was to increase human bonds. Related to that research is the admonition of Rabbi Kushner that the response to those suffering is to be a source of support and comfort instead of focusing on answering “Why do bad things happen to good people?” It is in such a milieu that people who have suffered can get beyond tragedy. They can process the myriad of emotions that accompany tragedy, such as anger and feelings of guilt, and then go on to make new meaning in their lives.

Rabbi Kushner chose the title of his book with the intent to move people beyond tragedy instead of remaining mired in it by questioning why tragedies occur in the first place. I don’t know if all people suffer from a personal tragedy. But, I have seen how debilitating it can be for people if not able to move beyond it. If you cannot get beyond a tragedy in your own life, seek a source of support and comfort and take action to process your feelings and make new meaning in your life.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

The Secret

2008-08-29T17:10:00.000-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret. You may also want to read the last five posts in which I shared my thoughts to some of the critiques posed by the authors of The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “What you think about you bring about.” This is a statement by Lisa Nichols in The Secret.

The Secret refers to the Law of Attraction which is a concept that is defined in the book (and the film of the same name), as “like attracts like.” (p.7) In this regard, The Secret emphasizes that positive thoughts will attract the positive into one’s life; while negative thoughts will attract the negative into one’s life. Therefore, proponents of The Secret advocate for keeping one’s thoughts positive. We will soon start the fall harvest season and with that in mind, I now include the following passage from the book (p.17):

Like all the laws of nature,
there is utter perfection in this law.
You create your life. Whatever you sow, you reap!
Your thoughts are seeds,
and the harvest you reap will depend on the seeds you plant.

There may be some difficulty in seeing how the Law of Attraction has relevance in your life. But, more problematic is the blaming and fault-finding that may occur when even as you try to think positively, negative events happen nonetheless. Consider the following passage from the book (p.12):

As you think of yourself living in abundance, you are powerfully and consciously determining your life through the law of attraction. It’s that easy. But then the most obvious question becomes, “Why isn’t everybody living the life of their dreams?

In general, the explanation is that the reason people don’t have what they want is because they are thinking about what they don’t want instead of what they do want. In other words, what a person wants to avoid will become manifest because those are the thoughts upon which the person is focused. But, I think there is a deeper reason for these circumstances and that reason is our inability to be aware of what we are thinking unconsciously. Our unconscious thoughts holds as much, if not more, power than what we are thinking consciously. It is the conflict between the conscious thought “I want to be successful” with the unconscious thought “I don’t deserve to be happy.” Which thought would you guess has more influence in a person’s life? And what thoughts are you holding in your own unconscious that may be holding you back?

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction

2008-07-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction. Please read the previous posts as this entry is the fifth, and the last, in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Please note that I made mention in the first post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret will be the focus of next month’s entry. This entry is focused on “positive thinking.” Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “reframe.”

The authors pose the following critique, “As the psychological phenomenon of “autosuggestion” tends to suggest, making up your mind to be “positive” is sure to make you feel…well, positive. But beyond that, the effectiveness of the pragmatic fallacy amounts to little more than what politicians call “putting a positive spin on things.” (pp32-33).

I am at a loss to see how being “positive” is a bad thing. If the authors are referring to a “Polly-ana” like mental state where there is a denial of the painful realities of life, then I am in agreement with them that this type of thinking can be detrimental. Denial prevents the natural process of working through negative emotions. Psychological theories suggests that when negative emotions are not processed in a timely and appropriate manner there are untoward consequences later such as comprised health or explosive rage. There is also the danger of continuing negative experiences. For example, saying “Oh, it’s OK” when someone oversteps your boundaries can be a form of denial and may foster continued victimization.

Being positive in the face of adversity is to take the reality one is presented, but to look at it with a different perspective. In psychology, it is called a “reframe.” This concept may be better explained with the following example; a “framed” piece of artwork allows you to see the subject of a painting via a perspective as allowed by the artist. What difference would the impact of the artwork make to you if you could zoom in or zoom out, see it from the back, or even upside-down. These differences are what would comprise a change in perspective.

A change in perspective associated with the negative events in one’s life allows the unfolding of meaning that at the time is hidden. It is an assumption that “things will work out,” or “things happen for a reason” that gives a nod to the notion that we just don’t know everything, or have access to all facts, at any given time. This notion is not the same as denying the reality that is presented. Instead, there is an acknowledgment of what is presented, along with an acknowledgment that there are additional factors of which we may not be aware. A change in perspective is what can help in bad times and is an important component to good mental health and the ability to have a better life.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction

2008-06-26T18:17:00.001-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Please read the previous posts as this entry is the fourth in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Please note that I made mention in the first post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret will be the focus of a future entry. This entry is focused on what are we to make of it when what we hope for does not materialize? Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on having a setback in one’s life.

The authors find the following premise about The Secret to be problematic: “the emphasis is on “think it,” and if you think it, it will effortlessly be yours” (p.73). As such, I would agree as there is more to success than just “thinking it.” However, the authors later write that The Secret does make mention of the necessity of taking action. So, it appears that according to both the authors and the premise of The Secret, acting on a thought (wish) is necessary. But, as important are intention, concentration, determination, focus, skill-building, information gathering, seeking help from others, timing, opportunity, hope and faith. Any, and maybe all, may be necessary for you to succeed. But, the road to success would not have been taken at all had you not had a thought about what you wanted.

So, what are we to make of it when we fail to materialize something we have thought about despite taking action and having intention, focus, hope, and faith? It could be that something was not in line. Could there have been fear that it might actually come true? Were the steps taken adequate and appropriate? Was there a doubt that lingered in one’s mind? According to the authors, “Simply stated, ask, believe, and receive is an enthralling biblical formula that has real application, but only when you are with the plan: that is, God’s plan” (p.81). For, others, it is the belief that if things do not materialize “it wasn’t meant to be.” This is an issue intricate to success that only you can determine.

The authors quote Professor John Norcross’ statement in regard to The Secret: “It’s pseudoscientific, psycho-spiritual babble. We find about 10 percent of self-help books are rated by mental-health professionals as damaging. [The Secret] is probably one of them. The problem is the propensity for self-blame when it doesn’t work” (p. 132). The authors add, “According to Byrne, if it doesn’t work for you, the problem is you” (p.132). I agree that the danger with the premise of The Secret is that people will harshly blame themselves. What would counter that tendency is to focus on what could be learned so as to try again or to develop another goal.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

The Secret Revealed: Exposing The Truth About The Law Of Attraction

2008-05-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Please read the previous posts as this entry is the third in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Please note that I made mention in the first post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne. The Secret will be the focus of a future entry. This entry is focused on “Materialism” (please see comments to posts dated April 27, 2008 and January 28, 2008.) Also, please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “Consumerism.”

I’d like to first clarify my definition of the word “materialism” as used in this entry. Materialism is the wanting, or having, of things that may not be essential to one’s health and well-being. For example, it is the difference between living in a mansion versus having shelter or driving a luxury vehicle versus having a mode of transportation. There is a negative connotation held by many people about someone who is “materialistic.” The thinking is that there is a “cost” to materialism. In other words, materialism is “bad” because it is “selfish” in that you want or have something more than is minimally sufficient.

The most common negative feedback I receive regarding The Secret is the emphasis on materialism. But, are we not a culture that wants “bigger and better.” The authors cite an article written by Jeffrey Ressner in TIME Magazine Dec. 28, 2006 in which he said “The film’s backers say they deliberately aimed to make ‘wealth enhancement’ a major element of the project” and included the comment by Bob Rainone (Rhonda Byrne’s U.S. business partner) as follows:

We desired to hit the masses, and money is the number one thing on the masses’ minds.
Bob Rainone

The authors are critical of a passage in The Secret wherein a child fantasizes about having an expensive bicycle insinuating that the child is selfish or greedy. What is the problem in this scenario? Is the bike too much money? Does the child already have a bike? Would getting the bike be a financial burden for the family? In many families, there is no hesitation in getting a child something despite the expense and the financial burden it may cause the family.

Would the authors feel differently if this was a child from a single-parent home living in an impoverished neighborhood? A place where this child wished for something better in his life? A place where most children would discount the thought of having an expensive bike as it would be deemed “impossible.” What if obtaining the expensive bicycle gives to the child a glimpse into what is “possible?” How would this experience affect this child’s ability to obtain success later in life? I appreciate that the question of how the bicycle was obtained is a factor. There would certainly not be a positive message if the child stole the bicycle or stole the money to buy the bicycle. But, what if he worked after school for the money? What if he had a mentor who helped him get the job? My point here is that there is a context in which one deems what is or is not “materialistic.” I think the bigger question is, “Who is the person judging?”

Abraham Maslow (1943) described a hierarchy of human needs. When the lower human needs for safety, food, and shelter can be sustained to some degree, the higher aspects of human nature such as creativity and achievement are more likely to occur. Of course, we know of many times of disaster where people “rise to the occasion.” They share resources and may even give up their lives for the lives of others. But, it is also true that it can be difficult to be altruistic.

It isn’t easy to give away your food when hungry. But, it's impossible to give away food when you haven't any.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book that you would like me to read and review.

The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law Of Attraction

2008-04-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction. Please read the previous post as this entry is the second in a series based on this book. I will continue sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors via the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Note that I made mention in the previous post that although I had seen the film The Secret, I had not yet read the book of the same name when I began writing the outline for this series. Since that time, I have read The Secret, and it will be the focus of a future entry. I would like to base this entry on the word “intention.” Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on tips to enhance the power of your “intention.”

Intention is a word that I think is hard to understand. I looked up the word in my Webster’s dictionary and found that it is classified as a noun and defined as “an act or instance of determining mentally upon some action or result.” This definition appears to be close to that of the verb “intend” which is defined as “to have in mind as something to be done or brought about.” I don’t think intention is a “thing” or an “action.” Wikipedia describes “intentional behavior” as “thoughtful and deliberate goal-directedness.” This defines a behavior similar to setting goals.

So, how would I define the word “intention?” I offer to you that intention is a “state of consciousness.” I have to add I am certainly not an expert on linguistics, but I mean to use this definition as a way to understand the general concept of the word if not the strict definition. Maybe an example would elucidate what I mean.

Have you, or do you know of other people who have, fallen in love when meeting someone for the first time and making statements such as “When I saw her, I knew I would marry her” or “The moment I saw him, I knew he was the love of my life.” What do these statements mean? Well, I don’t think they are referring to “a thing” or “an action” or even "a thought." They are referring to a “knowing” or an experience of something that "just is.” I think this “knowing” is the same as “intention” in that neither concept refers to a thing, an action, or a thought. It is a state of consciousness.

In this book, the authors commented on a couple wanting to buy a house and their stance that there is an absurdity in “thinking” something into existence. They concluded that it took money, looking at many homes, and “taking wise and diligent actions.” They added, “In time, they will own a home that meets their needs: not because they “thought it into existence” but rather because after their thinking came actions in alignment with that desire.” I agree with the authors. There first is a wish/desire and thought about the object of that wish/desire. Then there are actions that are taken towards obtaining that object. But, buying a home can still be done without having “intention” as I defined it. Just as having faith that they will eventually be able to buy this home is an added bonus (if you will) it would be a bonus if there is also an “intention” to have the home of their dreams.

Maybe another example? You are hungry for a round-ish, red fruit labeled an apple. You are not thinking “round-ish, red fruit labeled an apple.” You are more likely to briefly experience the apple (taste? scent?) for which you currently have a wish/desire. It is this experience or state of consciousness that I would label intention. You may take the action needed to obtain it such as getting some money, going to the store, and buying the apple. You then have in your hand the thing that was the object of your wish/desire. And when you take a bite of that apple you have reached your goal.

Intention is not a thing, action, or thought. It is a state of consciousness. I will address intention again later with my entry on the book The Secret. Maybe by then I will have better examples or have feed back from you about what is your interpretation on intention that may change my own. Until then, I hope this entry clarifies my conception of the word.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.

The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law Of Attraction

2008-03-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Secret Revealed: Exposing the Truth About The Law of Attraction.

I came upon this book, read it, and then contemplated what about it I wanted to write in this bookblog. I thought about the Easter holiday given the comments made by the authors. I then thought about the word “hope” because of the spring season and its association with new beginnings. Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on “hope” and my thoughts on Senator Barack Obama. In keeping with the Easter tradition, I will begin my review of this book with a quote that is used at the book’s beginning:

Christ…was chosen before the creation of the world,
but was revealed in these last times for your sake.
−1 Peter 1:20

What is inspirational to many Christians about this quote is that it gives them hope for their own life. And the Easter holiday gives hope due to the redemptive value of Christ’s crucifixion.

Before I go further, I must make clear that I am not an expert on religion, philosophy, history, science, or literature and so cannot (and will not) address all of the issues brought up by the authors which may require such expertise. Instead, I will limit myself to sharing my thoughts to some of the critiques by the authors through the lens of my own personal and professional experiences. Because of the many issues that I would like to address, this book will be the focus of the next several entries in this bookblog. Please also note that although I have seen the film The Secret, I have not yet read the book of the same name. It may seem unusual to make comments about a book which critiques The Secret without first reading The Secret, but this book is the first upon which I came. So, this book is the first of which I will write. Future entries will be on The Secret, a book written by Rhonda Byrne in 2006, which continues to be a bestseller.

The original film and book The Secret makes reference to the “Law of Attraction.” This refers to your ability to get what you want based on your thoughts and actions. The authors contend this concept is flawed for a number of reasons. Therefore, they refer to the “Flaw of Attraction” instead. Primarily, there is no evidence that a “secret” for success was ever withheld from the masses and that Rhonda Byrne has misquoted and misused a number of her sources. These points may be true and I will not attempt to refute them. There are other issues which the authors bring up which I will address instead.

In this initial entry I will first look at an implied assumption by the authors that everyone’s belief system should be the same. The following is the next quote used in the book:

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
−John 8:32

The authors acknowledge that there are paradigm differences. In other words, they understand that people see things differently in substantial ways. People will have different views on what is their purpose in life, or even if there is a purpose? People will have different views on whether or not there is evil in the world? These are examples of how people may differ in their world views.

The authors make reference to the philosopher Aristotle who posited “…that there was no knowable right and wrong, that every generation had to decide its own standards and morals, which gave birth to relativism…” The authors insinuate that the worldview of the proponents of The Law of Attraction align themselves with Aristotle. The authors appear to be more in alignment with Plato. “Plato…believed in absolute truth and abstract right and wrong.” Therefore, the primary problem with both the proponents of The Law of Attraction and the authors is that both believe they are right. Rhonda Byrne knows the “secret” and the authors know the “truth.”

This opposition can be seen in politics, relationships, and businesses. There is a “thesis” which is one view and an “antithesis” (anti-thesis) which is diametrically opposed to the thesis. The ability to come up with a melding of the two, or “synthesis” balances out the direct opposition of the first two. Could this be the answer to all of life’s problems? Is there a theory of everything? I don’t know. But, we clearly see the difficulties associated with an inability of people to see another person’s point of view whether within our own families, neighborhoods, or around the world.

One of the issues the authors have with The Law of Attraction is the simplification of getting what you want by “wishing” away your problems or “wishing” for things. I don't think the basis for the law of attraction is that wishing alone is enough at all times or in all situations. Take a moment and think about something in which you excel or something that you have received. Did you just wish it to be true and you immediately became proficient or in possession of what you wanted? I think that you will find that not only did you need the “wish,” but you may also have needed concentration, determination, focus, skill-building, information gathering, seeking help from others, money, timing, opportunity, hope, and faith. Any, and maybe all, may have been necessary for you to succeed. But, the road to success would not have been taken at all had you not “wished” for something to be different.

So, go ahead. Wish for a better life, good health, or loving relationships. It is the season of hope and new beginnings. What better time to wish for something, hope that it comes true, take the action needed to succeed, and then have faith that you will.

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.

Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles Into Opportunities

2008-02-07T18:28:00.000-08:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities.

Adversity is the problem or challenge that comes up in one’s life. Going through a divorce, job loss due to company downsizing, or being diagnosed with a chronic medical illness are common adversities. People who are resilient are described as having the ability to “bounce back” from life’s adversities. (Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for an audio presentation on resiliency and the 2008 Superbowl champions-the New York Giants.)

In this book, Dr. Paul Stoltz, provides The Adversity Response Profile (ARP) Quicktake™ This is a test you can take to determine what he describes is your Adversity Quotient (AQ). Obtaining your results and interpreting them may be complex, but the increase in self-understanding is well worth the effort. According to him, people fall into 3 main categories and they are: 1) the Quitter, 2) the Camper, and 3) the Climber.

The Quitter is described as someone who drops out of the ascent which is specifically “ascending toward success.” They have little faith or resources to even start the climb. The Camper started the climb towards success and can actually be quite successful. But, the Camper eventually reaches a plateau and then stays there. The camper is indeed a “happy camper” because wherever one is, it is good enough. Not so with the Climber. The plateau reached is merely a rest stop. Each success engenders more energy and propels the Climber forward. Complacency is not a part of the Climber’s makeup. And it is the Climber who can continue to persevere despite what adversity may be present. Dr. Stoltz describes the Climber who takes advantage of the opportunity for success present in adversity as engaging in “advertunity.”

The ARP Quicktake™ provides an AQ score which is composed of 4 components. These are
1) C=control
2) O²=origin and ownership
3) R=reach
4) E-endurance

The first component addresses a person’s ability to know what one can and cannot control and to do something about that which is under one’s control. The second component is about the ability to accept blame and take responsibility where appropriate. The third component refers to the ability to keep the negative effects of adversity to a minimum. And doing so is possible with the addition of the fourth component which is to view adversity as temporary and external. These four components optimize the opportunity for growth given adversity.

What to do if you find your AQ is on the low side? Take heart! According to Dr. Stoltz, “AQ is not your fate, it is a snapshot of your habitual response to adversity, a measure of the consistent subconscious pattern which you have developed over the years. AQ explains and measures your tendency to climb, camp, or quit, and teaches you the skills for the ascent.”

How can you increase your AQ? Developed by Dr. Stoltz is the LEAD technique described below. It is a technique which can be learned and, with practice, becomes easier to use.

L=Listen to the Adversity Response.
This entails becoming aware of the adversity and your response to it as soon as possible.

E=Explore the origins of the adversity and the ownership of the outcome.
This refers to the ability to accept blame and take responsibility as appropriate (see O²=origin and ownership)

A=Analyze the evidence.
This is the ability to be more realistic and put things into perspective.

D=Do something!
The final step in the LEAD technique is to take action.

Why bother raising your AQ? According to Dr. Stoltz, “…only climbers live life fully.” He goes on to say, “They feel a deep sense of purpose and passion for what they do. They know how to experience joy, recognizing it as a gift and reward for the Climb. Knowing that the peak may be elusive, Climbers never forget the power of the journey over the destination.”

Thank you. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams

2008-01-28T18:42:00.000-08:00

In this presentation, I will consider the book entitled The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams.

This posting is in honor of Dr. Deepak Chopra, best-selling author on mind-body medicine and personal development, who makes a long-awaited return to the Honolulu area for a presentation on January 28, 2008.

In this compact book of some of Dr. Chopra’s foundational concepts, my thoughts on the laws could extend many pages. I initially considered the option of discussing one law within its own blog posting. But, I finally decided to discuss briefly each law in this post. It is my hope that I can expand on each law in later blogs with other book reviews. Please feel free to post comments about this decision and about the material presented.

Dr. Chopra defines “success” not so much as those materials things that most people equate with success such as fame or fortune, but also with other things just as important, if not more so, such as being healthy and having loving and supportive relationships. He goes further and includes in the definition the ability to access the divine or spiritual, that which is both within us and around us, as aspects of our human experience as spiritual beings. I think this is so important because in our own culture, materialism shows no sign of abating, even in this more trying financial time. We easily lose sight of the experiences of life which are, indeed, “priceless.”

Let us now explore the seven spiritual laws of success…

The Law of Pure Potentiality. This law is probably the most difficult to comprehend and I think I would do an injustice to try and explain in my own words what is meant. Instead, I would like to share with you my experience. Many years ago, like many of you, the first time I heard Dr. Chopra speak was on a televised program. For most of the program, I did not understand any of the concepts about which he had been speaking. But, I felt compelled to continue to watch the program. Then, Dr. Chopra mentioned something that made me think about the connection of all things. In this book in a later chapter, he stated “On the material level, both you and the tree are made up of the same recycled elements: mostly carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and other elements in minute amounts.” He goes on, “In fact, you and the tree are constantly exchanging your carbon and oxygen with each other.” This statement is similar to what he said in that program which emphasized that we are connected because these elements are “recycled” through space and time between the tree and me. I wondered at that time, many years ago, “We are connected through space and time?” It was a thought that pointed me to something that I had never known about my true “essence.” And, at the time, I certainly did not realize the full implication of such a thought. But, what was more astounding to me was the experience of realizing that such a thought, which was now in my consciousness, was only moments before not a part of my consciousness at all. It was the experience of hearing the lock unlock in a closed door and seeing the door slowly open onto a landscape of what Dr. Chopra describes as “infinite possibilities.” It was what I would call an “ahh…some” moment. And for me, nothing has been the same since.

The Law of Giving. I think this is a concept that many people have trouble with because we tend to emphasize the importance of giving. Further complicating matters, is that there tends to be rigidity in roles for most people. Specifically, that most people tend to be “givers” or “receivers” (or in a derogatory way, these people are described as “takers.”) Both factors obstruct what Dr. Chopra describes as the “flow” of giving and receiving. Our goal should be to not obstruct this natural flow of energy and that may mean a change in roles at different times. Additionally, emphasis should also be placed on the act of receiving…receiving graciously. For how can we be a part of the dynamic of the act of giving if we do not know how to graciously receive?

The Law of “Karma” or Cause and Effect. Many people find it inconceivable that they are always making choices because at times their behavior, thoughts or feelings are the result of choices which are unconscious. Further, these choices eventually become habit and many times the consequences of our choices bring pain. According to Dr. Chopra, you can take “spontaneous right action” or doing what is right at any time by listening to your gut feeling or assessing your body for discomfort. He noted, “There is only one choice, out of the infinity of choices available in every second, that will create happiness for you as well as for those around you.” He explains there are three ways to deal with Karma. One can “pay it” or live one’s life out in Karmic debt. Or we can “transmute” the Karma and this is associated with the notion that events in our life is to “teach us lessons” that aid us in our personal development. Many people who experience trauma in their lives incorporate the learning of specific lessons with their “Dharma” or life purpose. Another option, according to Dr. Chopra, is to “transcend” Karma or to no longer be attached to it. It is similar to the identification as “victim” for many people who have experienced trauma. These people transcend their Karma when they no longer live their life with a “victim” mentality.

The Law of Least Effort. Attempts to reach a goal can take time, money, and energy (Please go to “The Word Is…” on my website for a further discussion on goals and blocks to reaching goals) Detours on your way to reaching a goal can be a positive experience as they are the avenue for further growth. But, obstruction or resistance is, I think, a clear indicator of being out of sync with your goal. Dr Chopra comments on three components of this law. They are acceptance, responsibility, and defenselessness. Acceptance refers to what is at any point in time. It is to accept where you are or where someone else is for the moment. I think that it engenders compassion for both ourselves and for other people. Responsibility returns the focus back onto ourselves as we are in this moment. I think this helps us to feel empowered. Dr. Chopra defines responsibility as “…the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now.” It is in direct opposition to the habitual unconscious nature in which most of us operate on a daily basis. A consciousness that extends from the automatic responses that people have continuously. Defenselessness is the most difficult to access when people are in conflict. How easy it is for couples not to hear each other or for parents to not hear their children. In these heated times, the focus is what we hold to be true and little regard is paid to another person’s point of view.

The Law of Intention and Desire. Dr. Chopra explains that “Intention is the real power behind desire.” Intention is what makes manifest what you want (in the future), when your attention is focused in the present and with the acceptance of what is now. He notes, “As long as your attention is in the present, then your intent for the future will manifest, because the future is created in the present. You must accept the present as is. Accept the present and intend the future.”

The Law of Detachment. This law is probably hard to comprehend given the previous law. Ordinary desire is infused with an attachment to a particular outcome. One may wonder why anyone would do anything to get what they want were it not for the expectation that it would be attained. The problem is not that there is a desire for something nor that there is an intention to attain one’s desire. The problem is that attachment to a particular outcome limits all that is possible. By being so attached, we are not open to what may be and what may be may even surpass what we imagined.

The Law of “Dharma” or Purpose in Life. According to Dr. Chopra there are three components to this law. They are that we must understand we are spiritual beings, that we are “…to express our unique talents,” and the third is to use our unique talents to serve humanity. This law is a personal favorite because I think a lot of people are stuck on the concept that one’s purpose in life is to be rich and famous. It saddens me when in pursuit of material needs to the exclusion of everything else, one’s personal life suffers as there is the loss of important relationships or onset of illness. But, sadder still is the person who minimizes their ability to bring a smile to someone’s face or joy to someone’s heart because they have not attained material success. There is a purpose for each of us and the ability to live out that purpose is a success. We each have our own skills and talents with which we are blessed. According to Dr. Chopra, when the three components are in concert with each other, “You will begin to experience your life as a miraculous expression of divinity-not just occasionally, but all the time. And you will know true joy and the true meaning of success-the ecstasy and exultation of your own spirit.”

Read The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and glean your own insights as each of us will receive what we need from the wisdom shared by Dr. Chopra in our own way. May this book be influential in your life on your own road to success.

Thank you. Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review. This is Dr. Rivera.

The Precious Present

2007-12-14T10:13:00.001-08:00

The Precious Present tells the story of a boy and an old man. The boy wondered why the old man was always happy. The old man told him that he was happy because he received the gift of the precious present. Said the old man, "It is the best present a person can receive because anyone who receives such a gift is happy forever." The boy thought to himself, "What gift could be so amazing?" In his quest to find the answer, the boy would often question the old man. Over time, the old man gave answers that confused the boy even more. What gift could be so precious that unlike the toys he had received in the past, this gift could withstand the passage of time?

After many years, the boy grows up. He becomes unhappy when he concludes that he will never have the precious present. But, he then slowly begins to understand. He realizes that "Pain is the difference between what is and what I want it to be." Things start to make sense to him and he eventually receives the gift of the precious present.

This story hits the heart of the matter given the time of year when we have all been focused on the holidays. A time in which we should place greater emphasis on what we hold dear such as our friends and family. Instead, our time and energy has been given to shopping, driving in terrible traffic, and all the other many ways in which we overextend ourselves. We become overwhelmed with what we have to do, what we have to buy, and where we have to be. And then, for many people, we start a new year mired in consumer debt. What price ultimately do we pay in our own well-being?

Read The Precious Present and let it remind you of what is important. Thank you. Special thanks go out to Rita for giving me the precious present.

Please contact me if there is a particular book you would like me to read and review.